Genova
I vividly remember the first time I read Horacio Quiroga’s short stories. I was in second year of high school and the emotions and thrills of this tales from the Uruguayan writer were teaching me how emotive reading can be. From then on, everything I read from him was holly word.
That has changed in many ways, but I still remember his Decalogo del perfecto cuentista. A list of ten commandments on how to write a short story. One of them said “No escribas bajo el imperio de la emoción. Déjala morir, y evócala luego...” (“Do not write under the empire of emotion. Let it die, and evoke it later...”)
Contradictory, I find myself writing about emotions here, so not writing emotively seems a bit absurd. But I thought about his words this weekend and today. If I would’ve written this post, either straight after my arrival in Genova, or this last weekend; or as it happened, today, they would’ve been three completely different stories. Three completly different emotions.
As I said after coming into Italy, I did go to Venice. From Lugano rode to Brescia, then San Bonifacio close to Verona and then Venice. I don’t know if it was the welcoming feeling of the already known, or the kind reception of the italian cyclists I found along the way, but with every stroke of the pedal this feeling of self aknowledgement slowly grew on me. Maybe the satisfaction of the soon to be achieved goal of Le Tour. Or just feeling phisically and mentally in a great space. But I felt I could kept riding forever. I didn’t want to go back. I didn’t want this to finish. It just felt right.
A friend wrote to me some beautiful words in which he described the sensations he got from reading some of my posts in a way that really shook me. “Donde nació esta idea, murió un desencanto personal... y cada km recorrido debe ser aire nuevo” (where this idea was born, a personal unease died... And every km ridden must be a new breath). And partly, those days riding to Venice, not only I felt I had shaken a big heavy ballast off, but also that I had found a new road. Not by changing places but by changing myself, by believing in this ideas that just pop in and out of my head everyday, and by having the courage to put dreams and passion together in pursuit of self realization.
I found myself in the train back into Genova not wanting to go back, wondering how come I wanted to keep going so badly. But it wasn’t about Genova, neither about continue riding my bike. Genova meant routine, meant going back to a meaningless job which have given me very little satisfaction or motivation lately, and specially meant keep sleep walking through all the way until my next time off. Riding my bike meant freedom and wellbeing, but it also symbolized this parallel life away from work where I put all my faith and heart in accomplishing dreams and goals, and trying to help or inspire others with it.
The unease remained with me for a few days, but on the weekend, Genova showed her best smile. The same misterious and intriguing smile which have captivated me for the last year. Slowly revealing her secrets and treasures with her cheeky winks you discover around her corners. And when wandering around her narrow vicoli I was glad I was here. In Genova, in the heart of Liguria. I was at peace with what I’ve achieved with Le Tour cycling wise and personally. Some of the amazing responses I got from friends or family, or the little smiles and complitmments I got along the way from random people, kept reminding me of the emotions this project has awaken on people. And all this things together with my will to keep riding (figuratively speaking) give me the motivation and inspirations to stay in this road and hope this fire I feel burning inside, keeps heating things up.
Funny that I always thought of this trip as the beginning of something. Somehow I knew this was not the purpose of all the training I was doing during the winter, but that it was actually a part of it. A learning process. Training was great to find out how my body behaved in different rides, weather, clothes and to get the fitness I needed for the trip of course. All the research I done tought me many things for the preparations stages of such projects. And the trip itself was just a part of it. At every minute of this april month of 2010 I was learning and trying to get everything in form this experience. I wanted to hear myself for the whole ride and listen to what my body and mind had to say. So now that I’ve finished this trip I have shared with whoever I have met or contacted along the way, it feels like I’m just ready for the next project. And that’s very exciting and motivating.
I’m so curious...
